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he term “sinking stomach” doesn’t even begin to describe the moment when you realize that the person you’re on a date with — who seemed perfect in both their online profile and subsequent phone calls — is nothing but a cold-hearted player.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship, you want to catch those clues sooner rather than later, before you fall too hard for someone who’s only interested in passing dalliances.
“No matter how busy we are, when we want to be with someone, we make the time and the sacrifices to be with that person.” Obviously on the first few dates, it’s usually not protocol to spend time at someone’s house—but if you’re past the first couple of dates and your sweetie hasn’t invited you over, Pezzote says, “then you need to be concerned.” Perhaps there’s evidence of other relationships there...
or perhaps your date is actually living with someone.
These guys know that women love to feel special and loved and beautiful, so they’ll give you these things while you’re together to make sure he can get what he wants.
He’ll be sweet and loving and attentive when you’re around.
But if you sense too much vagueness and hesitation in conversation, your date could be a cover-up artist. “Yes, mystery can be attractive, but too much mystery usually spells trouble.
“In relationships, as in most other things, it’s important to remember that you do know what you like,” says Michael Longacre, an art director in New York.“When everyone’s saying ‘Hey, honey,’ including you,” says Pezzote, “then maybe there’s too many names in this person’s little black book to remember.” That tiny cell phone can be hugely revealing, says Pezzote: “The cell phone rings during lunch. ’ Your date says, ‘Oh, it’s no one.’ Trouble.” Cell-phone issues can pop up not only when you’re in person with your date, but when you’re calling later on the cellie: “If your sweetie always calls you, then when you call back, he or she always says ‘Can’t talk now, have to get back to you’…that’s risky business.” This is a harder one to gauge, but it’s important.To help you do just that, here are some tips from Angelo Pezzote, a New York-based psychotherapist and author of syndicated advice column “Ask Angelo” ( which focuses on gay and lesbian issues.Watch out for the following: Of course, someone shouldn’t be expected to spill the beans about his or her whole life, especially on the first date.